Fast Train
by VinzClortho
Summary: A three part exploration of what the characters might have been thinking as they passed each other on the train tracks. Akari, Takaki and Kanai will each get a chapter in which they reflect. Based on the movie and the manga.


Author's Note: I've been meaning to get this story started for a long time. The story was sort of born out of a review I wrote for the movie (I write reviews about movies that I don't let anyone else read, weird I know). I may post that original review after the final chapter is anyone is interested in my analysis/interpretations of the film. Anyway, this story is going to have 3 chapters, and each will be from the perspective of a different character at the conclusion of the film/manga. For the people that have not read the manga (spoiler alert!) it is basically the same thing with some added stuff on Kanai, who travels to Tokyo looking for Tohno. It ends with someone approaching behind her, which is most likely Tohno right after the train track scene. For the curious among you, the title of the story comes from a song by Solomon Burke, which always makes me think of this movie.

* * *

_You'll be okay. I know you will._

Those words echo from the past. I spoke them so long ago, yet it feels as if they've just left my lips. It's not simply the words that are coming back to me, it's also a feeling that they carry. Rather, a _memory of a feeling _which I held so strongly in days gone by. That feeling is seeping into my heart.

_You'll be okay._

Those were the last words I ever spoke to you face to face, Takaki. That was my wish for you.

While the train continues behind me I turn a corner and without thinking about it I come to a halt. The rumble of the locomotive, the clatter of the tracks and the ringing of the bell; the sounds seem to last forever.

Now it strikes me that we've stood right here before. We're reliving a scene from our youth. We've come full circle.

Why did I come here today? Was it nostalgia that I felt when I opened that box of trinkets and old photos? Am I chasing a feeling that has long since faded, or is that feeling simply waiting to be rediscovered?

Did the same force compel you to come here, on this day? Was that even you? Yes, of that I have no doubt at all. You saw me too, and I know you recognized me, just as I know you're waiting for that train to pass.

But what is it that brought you here Takaki? Of course, I know the answer. You wanted to watch the cherry blossoms fall, just as I did. Deep down, did you want to watch them fall, together? It would be nice, wouldn't it?

I can't help but wonder if you remember what I said to you. Do you remember what I said as the train doors closed and I laid my eyes on you for the last time, until today?

We weren't naïve, even as kids. We both knew it was unlikely we'd ever see one another, or hold each other again. That one snowy night would be the only one we'd ever share under the same sky where you'd know I loved you, and I'd know you loved me. We were both aware of that, weren't we?

The blizzard had passed by morning, and I wanted you to make room in your heart for whatever life brought you. I didn't want to let you go, but you were being taken from me and, and I from you, whether we liked it or not.

_You'll be okay_.

That's how I said goodbye.

I wanted to say so much more. I wanted to scream my feelings. I wanted to say anything, or do anything that would keep us together.

_Take me with you._

_Stay._

_ I love you._

I wanted to say all of those things. But…I chose my words carefully. You knew that I loved you, so saying the words themselves wasn't necessary. Instead, I let you know that I wanted you to be okay without me, that that I knew you were strong enough to do that. In the end, it didn't matter that I forgot to give you the letter I wrote. You already knew.

And then you were gone.

So, was I right Takaki? Are you okay?

You came here today because the past is on your mind, surely. Could it be weighing heavily on your heart? Is that why you're waiting on the other side of that train? You could cross the tracks and find me when it passes. I haven't gone far. I'm barely out of site. If it's what you desire than it's within your power to do so. But would it make you happy? Could you reconcile the past with the present? For my wish to come true, I hope that you chose a bright future over a faded past. To do so, you'll need to come to terms with the present. But I'll wait here until you decide.

I toy with the ring around my finger and wonder if you've found a place to be happy, like I have. If you came running across the tracks, what would you expect to find? Could anything you'd find in me bring you happiness, or would it make the memory feel even more distant?

Isn't this exactly like when we began drifting apart Takaki? We were only ever a phone call or an email away, but distance came between us nonetheless. Isn't it funny that distance still mattered? We could hear each other's voice and even send photos in the blink of an eye if we really wanted to, but we drifted apart all the same.

This isn't the first time I've wondered why that happened. I'll never be sure why it did, but I don't think either of us is to blame. We simply lived out lives and that put us on different tracks.

If there is one thing I'd like to ask you Takaki, it is this. Was it worth it, coming all that way by train through the snow and the cold and the darkness to see me one last time? Did it only make it harder in the end, or was that fleeting moment together worth reaching out for?

We rebelled against the inevitability of our parting that night Takaki, that's how I always viewed it. For what it's worth, I wouldn't trade that night for anything. It was worth waiting in the train station for hours, it was worth trekking through the blizzard, and it was worth struggling to stay warm through the night. We both knew that we were saying goodbye no matter how hard we wanted to hold on, but it was worth it. It will always be worth it. So, thank you for those memories Takaki.

The train passes at last, and silence fills the air. I can hear your footsteps against the pavement. Before long, that sound too is gone.

I think my wish for you has come true, Takaki.

_You're doing just fine._

* * *

AN: So what do you guys think, did Akari recognize Takaki when they passed each other? Chapter two will happen hopefully sooner than later. Should be a bit longer too ;)


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